Saturday, November 12, 2011

Seriously, wtf am I doing and WHY?

With much dedication and determination, I have been working out and eating relatively clean since March 12, 2011.  I have lost 47.8 pounds. 

I am backsliding for the past week and admitting it publically. 

I ate pizza, I made chocolate waffles (albeit, only mixed with applesauce instead of with eggs and oils), I drank too much, I ate this crap way too much. 

I feel like I am out of control again.  I really wonder why?

How can I work so so so diligently and then not care?
I do care obviously since I am weighing every day.

I have still kept up with my exercise program.  I get up at 5:15 every work day and do cardio 5x per week and strength 3x per week.

Eating, well, no.

I know I am looking much better physically.
I know I feel better.

I know others notice.

Do I want to not be noticed?
Am I more comfortable not being noticed?

Am I ambushing myself?



sheila said...

Every day before you step foot out of the bed, if you are not already doing this, consecrate you whole being to the Lord, commit to Him your daily what goes in the mouth, ask Him to take all the unhealthy foods and the desire for them away from you. He will, put Him in the equation and watch what happens....

I know, I feel like you sometimes, why oh why.....

otin said...

The truth is that dieting sucks and eating is pleasurable. There are bound to be times where you slip. I've slipped for most of my life. I like pizza like Motley Crue loved Heroin!

The Queen of Fifty Cents said...

Could be it's like meditation. You're concentrating on your breathing, and inevitably your mind starts to wander. And as soon as you notice, you just go back to concentrating on your breath. It's all about being willing to start over many, many times...and it's worth it.