Saturday, July 17, 2010

This is how I feel

Its been a long time away from blog land and I am not even sure I care to venture back. 


I used to enjoy writing, although it took time away from the really important things like snuggling with my hubs, chatting with my daughter, petting my dog and cat; real time life.


Blog time became the priority of my day.  I looked foreword to everyone's comments; approval meant so much~instant gratification. 


I would continually click over, just to see if someone had visited my blog, read and most importantly, commented.  ( I have noticed I have lost followers; interesting)


I became immersed in other's bloggers daily routines and lives.  I knew more about blog land people than some who are in my family. 


I felt driven to participate in the cool weekly games of other blogs.  I felt guilty if I was too "lazy" or time restricted to do my "post it note Tuesday" or such. 


I felt frustrated if I was a watcher of a new blog and that person did not become a watcher of mine.


I closely monitored how many followers my fellow bloggers had, and if my numbers had moved.


I refuse to become emotionally entangled again in blog land, but I do continue to check in on some of my favorite blogs from time to time.


I do not want to "need" the approval of readers to feel valid. Valid may not be the correct word, but I know what I mean, and that is what matters.  \


I want those in my life to have my attention. 


They do now.

6 comments:

Steven Anthony said...

Life is short friend, we must enjoy every minute of it...Bravo to you for knowing whats important ;)

hugs to ya

My Aimless Infatuation said...

Great post,love your honesty. Post only when you want and need to,your blog should be fun not a job. I think we have all felt this way from time to time. Enjoy life and if and when you ever have the urge to blog again we will be here.

adrienzgirl said...

Lisa,

Blog land can be very unfriendly. But the same is true of all social groups. I have experienced the same at church, work, PTA, etc.

Life is short and too important to do things you don't enjoy. By the same token, it's also too short to allow others to determine your happiness.

I hope you are doing well and finding joy! :D

Lisa E said...

I never felt that anyone was mean to me in blog land. I just devoted too much time to it and did get all caught up in waiting for someone to acknowledge what I had wrote. It was an ego/validation thing I think. I can never eat a small piece of cheesecake, or just blog a little. I am a person who indulges in excess in all areas that hold my attention. I go from one obsession to another all the days of my life. Blogging was juat another obsession. Thank you for the encouragement!

Polly said...

This is the best, most honest post I have ever read! It has touched me in a profound way and I thank you for that!!!

Cheri Pryor said...

I love to blog. I love to read blogs. I'm horrible about leaving comments on blogs. Why is that? lol! I like to have comments on my blog but if they aren't there it makes me think my post just wasn't interesting enough. Or that my followers were all on vacation. If my blog was my life I would be put off by it. But my blog contains stories ABOUT my life. We have to go out and live in order to have something to tell, eh? Even if it is for your own enjoyment, continue writing!!!