I am going through some changes in my life, and I am so determined to do "good", that I am trying too hard.
I feel insecure.
This seems to be a part of my personality that I really need to control.
I am not sure at 50 years old, I can change.
I acknowledge that I can try so hard that I fall on my face, or it kicks me in my ass.
I can try so hard, that on my path to trying, I drive people away from me.
I try so hard, that those who had confidence in me, pull back and re-analyze their confidence. (or so I think)
Why can't I just do what I need to do, nothing more, nothing less, and do it quietly and under the radar?
Why do I confuse myself with the thoughts that are flowing through my mind so fast?
Why do I have to analyze every action and/or reaction?
It really is what it is.
I wish I could still my mind with that thought.
I know I am rambling, but I am spinning,