Saturday, December 19, 2009

Oh Tiger Ho Ho Ho

I got this in an email. Author is unknown to me. If you are the author let me know and I'll credit your amazing poem!

Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house

Tiger Woods came a flyin' . . . chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,

Cause a bimbo's phone number was in his Blackberry.

He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.

Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

With Joselyn, and Kalika . . . the world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

Tiger's sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger's wife went investin' . . . a new home in Sweden
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you're gettin' laid then I'm gettin' paid."
She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good chee
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.


Mass Hole Mommy said...

OMG, this is hilarious!!!

Gillian said...

Oh the Magic of Christmas!

My Aimless Infatuation said...

That was the best one yet!!!

smiles4u said...

LOL Flippin funny!

otin said...

hah! If your getting laid then I'm getting paid!

You are going to be my next spotlight blog when I get around to it!

Lisa E said...

Otin, You are so freakin awesome.

adrienzgirl said...

Apparently when Daddy was teaching him how to golf he should've been teaching him how to be a responsible adult instead....

THIS was freakin' HI-larious!

The Good Cook said...

Wow. Someone's been busy - and it wasn't just the Tiger!